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Lost in The Wood -- Leonard and Ann Marie Wilson

Useless Answers to Real Questions

"Do you have a super power and how do people react to it?"

— Asked on Quora (Super Power (ability), Superpowers (special powers), Human Behavior, Survey Question)

 

Man in White Shirt Lying on the Road Photo by Brandon Basara on Scopio

Well, since you asked, yes: I do indeed have a super power. I was gifted with the ability to misunderstand absolutely anything.

Of course, with great power comes great responsibility. I try to use my power to make people laugh, and I succeed with enough frequency I've decided I might as well start archiving some of the resulting non sequiturs in the hope someday they too may be completely misunderstood. I try not to question whether they're laughing with me or at me.

One of the most cosmically awesome benefits of this super power is it turns the entire world into your straight man. The obvious downside is sometimes the time and place are very inappropriate, so I either end up blurting out something better left unsaid in a somber setting, or I wind up biting my tongue until it bleeds. We've all got our kryptonite. So maybe starting the archive will save me from being "that guy" from time to time by providing another outlet for my outbursts.

The game will be to archive only open question asked by real people on the Internet, and the useless answers I may or may not have refrained from offering them. I have no intention of throwing myself any straight lines. That would be missing the point, and certainly wouldn't be helping me deal with my compulsion.

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